The acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community has been a controversial topic within ASFM for many years. Recently, support towards this group has been endorsed by the school, but the same cannot be said about its students, who have yet to prove themselves to be tolerant and empathetic. Local students are usually raised in highly conservative households, where any homosexual tendencies are usually criticized and rejected because of religious beliefs or values. Although many learn to become more accepting when older, there is a large portion of the population that stick to these traditional values, which oppose those individuals who identify as queer.

This year, 21 high-school students created the GLOW club. The Gay Lesbian or Whatever club supports students from gender and sexual minorities and their allies. An ally does not identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, yet supports it. A clear example is Ms. Villarreal, advisor of the group.  

The Roots of Our Mentalitly

RELIGION

In San Pedro, most people are either practicing or non-practicing Catholics, and many use religion as a reason for their disapproval of homosexuality. Even though not all believers oppose this group, a vast number of them do. Arguments such as ‘this goes against my religion’, ‘it is outlawed in the Bible’, or ‘it is a sin’ are common. Religious beliefs are often accepted and seldom questioned.

TRADITIONAL VIEWS

Frequently, students at ASFM grow up with norms and ideas that seem “unbreakable”. These include being gay, lesbian or any other sexuality other than heterosexual. However, there are a few individuals, including previous and current students of this school, who are not afraid to go against society’s conservative expectations.

“EHHH P***”

The word “gay” has been popularized as a slur instead of the term it represents. In Mexico, calling someone ‘gay’ is commonly not meant to describe someone who is attracted to their gender, but it is rather used as an insult describing a lack of masculinity. This also includes words like marica, p***, joto, chueco, fag, and others.

COMMUNITY

Although year by year people have become more open and accepting to the homosexual community, the constant spread of “chismes” that may indirectly criticize gay people holds back many from seeing and treating them as equal.

Time to Glow

Ms. Villarreal, teacher and mentor of the GLOW club, explained that a couple of years ago students wanted to start a gay-straight alliance, but were not allowed to do so by Admin, so they conformed with the human rights club. “The human rights club was used to discussing issues that help increase visibility to the LGBT students but they weren’t allowed to put a name like gay-straight because the school thought they weren’t ready for it,” she commented, “but then, because the school changed its ideology to ‘Open Minds, Caring Hearts, Global Leaders’, they decided that they needed to increase integration.”

Villarreal praised current high school students for the growth she has seen when it comes to acceptance. “Your generation is much more open than generations in the past. You guys are much more accepting, but there are more things that we need to do in order to improve.”

The GLOW club is a clear example of the actions that will make people be more aware of this matter. “If everyone accepts you, you will probably accept yourself.”

The group’s leader, Mariangela Alejandro, talked about the obstacles people trying to accept their own identity face in such a conservative community. “It is very hard for people to admit to themselves that they might not be what is considered normal.” She expressed that it is a very tough process for someone to come out; it might take years. This is due to the fear of what others might say, especially close friends and family.  

In His Own Words…

Russ Steponic, high school math teacher, grew up in a very conservative Christian home and church. He shared his story about opening up to himself and others while going against all odds.

“I really wasn’t aware of gayness or the spectrum of sexuality at all,” he shared. “I grew up expecting that I would get married to a woman, and have kids. I certainly knew growing up that I did not have the same feelings towards girls as my high school friends, but I thought that would change, I’d fall in love with a woman and get married, as the expectation. I guess the word would be, delightfully oblivious.”

“I loved growing up, I loved my church, I loved being a part of that community and everything I was learning about God and myself and all of the activities we did,” he recounted, “but I was clueless about my own sexuality even though I knew that my sexual experience of attraction was not quite the same as everyone else’s.”

In college, he broadened his perspective when he began talking to new people and learned about others’ experiences.

“I wasn’t gay because gay was wrong, gay was abnormal, gay was against God’s will, gay was a choice that you could change.”

Russ began looking at ways to make a connection with his family and friends, expecting that if their mutual relationships improved, his sexuality would change.

“I did everything I was supposed to to try not to be gay. I dated women, tried to get married. I didn’t date men, I turned away from any type of attraction to men or any kind of unhealthy relationship and really tried to be straight and live straight.”

“I struggled with suicide, and I think it's important to hear that an adult has struggled with suicide. And as I began to look at that, I began to make sense of why I was suicidal, it was because I hated myself for being gay, I hated myself because I had done everything I was told to, to get healed from being gay, and I was still gay.”

He expressed that he felt like a failure before God. But everything changed when he received a book called “Spiritual Direction and the Gay Person”

“The first sentence of the book was: ‘homosexuality is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity’, but it didn’t feel like a gift to me. Later, I realized that I didn’t have to choose between being gay and following God. Growing up, they always told me, ‘either you are gay, and you abandon Jesus’ or ‘you follow Jesus, and you abandon being gay’. But this book taught me that I could have both of those things: that I could follow Jesus faithfully and be gay. After this, I finally came to the point where I was ready to date somebody.”

Steponic was one of the many gay people who did not find support at home. His mom, now deceased, was an important part of those 20 years of him trying to change. His dad also passed away but Russ trusts that he would not have rejected him.

“He would be accepting of who I am as a gay person,” he said. “My dad was not a believer in that way, he was always supportive of me. I believe that he would love me, and love my husband. As for other family members, there is a different range of acceptance. Some are very open and caring, while others won’t invite me to Thanksgiving. My sister is still alive, and she loves who I have become. She feels like she has a new brother as I have made sense of who I really am.”

What this means for our School

Where does our empathy really stand? If we are only understanding and open to those who we relate to our experience of the world will be very limited; we don’t need to understand in order to care for people who are different from us. Tolerance should apply to everything in life, whether it be race, religion, ethnicity, gender, or sexual attraction.

Everyone deserves respect.